The rules have changed.

There's nothing like a letter or a call from an old friend. It's fun to get a blast from the past, to play catch up and learn what's happened in their story since you were last in it.

These days, this is done differently. We are, in essence, in touch with almost everyone from our past via social networking sites. I no longer have to wonder what is going on in the world of my best friend from sixth grade, whom I have not seen in fifteen years - she's posting on facebook, and I get her updates regularly. The information flows in from friends from college, high school, even elementary school. I personally love the feeling of connectedness this gives me. Even though many of the people I am in contact with online are not an active part of my world, it's wonderful to see the joys and adventures of their lives. The flip side is that being constantly plugged in to my whole history of acquaintances keeps me in constant contact with my past. Much of it is fond memories of good times and old friends, but this connectedness also tends to, on occasion, dredge up chapters of my life that I would prefer not to revisit on a regular basis.

I don't have big scary skeletons in my closet. It's about down times in my life, times when I wasn't someone I feel proud of, ruts I was stuck in. These moments, events, phases of my life already live on a well worn film loop, which runs on repeat through my wary brain on the occasional sleepless night. I don't like having another gap in my world for them to slip in through.

This change in social connections came, as all advances do, before the etiquette to utilize it. I have friends in my lists of contacts with whom I have no connection other than the fact that we sat next to one another in a class at one point in my middle school career. Most of those people I added years ago when I first joined facebook or other social networking sites, out of the sheer amazement of "wow, I know that person!" Also in my news feed are ex-boyfriends, spouses of friends, ex-spouses of friends... I very much like everyone on my friends list, but I can't help but wonder -- are there some people we're just supposed to lose touch with? I don't mean that in a negative way at all, I just can't help but think that in some ways there are supposed to be people who only exist in our lives as fond memories. The rules have changed, but I'm not sure we know what they are just yet. Twenty years from now, it'll be interesting to see how the social world has evolved.