The rules have changed.

There's nothing like a letter or a call from an old friend. It's fun to get a blast from the past, to play catch up and learn what's happened in their story since you were last in it.

These days, this is done differently. We are, in essence, in touch with almost everyone from our past via social networking sites. I no longer have to wonder what is going on in the world of my best friend from sixth grade, whom I have not seen in fifteen years - she's posting on facebook, and I get her updates regularly. The information flows in from friends from college, high school, even elementary school. I personally love the feeling of connectedness this gives me. Even though many of the people I am in contact with online are not an active part of my world, it's wonderful to see the joys and adventures of their lives. The flip side is that being constantly plugged in to my whole history of acquaintances keeps me in constant contact with my past. Much of it is fond memories of good times and old friends, but this connectedness also tends to, on occasion, dredge up chapters of my life that I would prefer not to revisit on a regular basis.

I don't have big scary skeletons in my closet. It's about down times in my life, times when I wasn't someone I feel proud of, ruts I was stuck in. These moments, events, phases of my life already live on a well worn film loop, which runs on repeat through my wary brain on the occasional sleepless night. I don't like having another gap in my world for them to slip in through.

This change in social connections came, as all advances do, before the etiquette to utilize it. I have friends in my lists of contacts with whom I have no connection other than the fact that we sat next to one another in a class at one point in my middle school career. Most of those people I added years ago when I first joined facebook or other social networking sites, out of the sheer amazement of "wow, I know that person!" Also in my news feed are ex-boyfriends, spouses of friends, ex-spouses of friends... I very much like everyone on my friends list, but I can't help but wonder -- are there some people we're just supposed to lose touch with? I don't mean that in a negative way at all, I just can't help but think that in some ways there are supposed to be people who only exist in our lives as fond memories. The rules have changed, but I'm not sure we know what they are just yet. Twenty years from now, it'll be interesting to see how the social world has evolved.

Running foo'

Yesterday I went for my first outdoor run since November of 2009. It was amazing...ly hard. It felt great to be outside - just me, the pavement, my ipod, and some sunshine. In some ways, though, it felt like starting over. Two and a half miles had my lungs searing, and the extra weight on my frame made me feel like I was running in slow motion. Clearly, I have some work to do, if I'm going to keep my date with the 2011 Missoula half marathon... I stood her up last year, what with being enormously pregnant and all, and I don't want to leave her hangin' two years in a row.

Resolve 2011.

2010 was an amazing year for me. Left a job. Started a family. I really began a new chapter in my life. Experienced new levels of happiness, new kinds of fear. My experiences over the year have helped me to recognize some of my best personal qualities, but also some of my worst. I am choosing to use this knowledge to learn, and hopefully to grow into a better person over the coming year. So with that, here are my resolutions:

Eliminate envy. I have a lovely home, a comfortable life, plenty of stuff. In today's commercial, material world, it's easy to want for more, and I am so susceptible to envying a friend's car, house, whatever. I need to remember to be grateful for the many things I have, and quit comparing my life to others'. I read something I really liked not too long ago - it said, "Happiness isn't in getting what you want, it's in wanting what you've got." Good plan.

Practice patience. In some situations, I have endless patience. Somehow, I haven't been able to translate that patience to parenting as well as I would like. I hope over this year to begin growing into the parent I want to be - patient, understanding, consistent, kind.

Live in the moment. I often feel like I am waiting for life to start. Waiting for something to change, waiting for something to happen. With all this waiting, I'm missing out on life. I'm going to spend more time celebrating little moments and enjoying life while it's great, which is right now.

Lean on myself. I've gotten so used to being able to rely on my amazing family and friends when I'm having a tough time, I feel as though I've gotten wimpier. It's time to buck up just a little. :)

Stand up straight! From nine months of pregnancy and now infant toting motherhood, my posture has been beaten into submission. As my high school marching band teacher said "Shoulders Up, Back and Down!"

And in the true spirit of New Year's Resolutions...

Lose weight. I have fourteen baby pounds to go. Treadmill, here I come.

Wishing a very happy, peaceful New Year to you all.