On weddings.

I bought a wedding gown yesterday. I don't have a caterer, an officiant, a photographer, linens, invitations or musicians; but I've got a dress. And twelve vases with which to make centerpieces.

Perhaps some women have a better knack for this than I do.

I have to admit, though - it's kinda fun. :)

I'm really happy with the gown I chose - it's lovely, without being too "much." (There are some seriously over the top dresses out there.) I got a kick out of trying them on, but the giant poufs really didn't feel like me.
With each gown I put on, the bridal consultant would ask me, "Can you see yourself getting married in this dress?" Each time I thought, "sure, why not?" I used to mentally pick out wedding colors or bridesmaid gowns (after having been a bridesmaid four times, I'm good at that part), but I guess I never thought much about what I'd wear. I've given more thought to being married than getting married, which is probably a good thing. Either way, I've got a dress now, so hopefully there will be no nightmares about being starkers on stage on my wedding day.

The bridal consultant talked me into trying on a veil, and when she tucked it into my hair I was thrown into one of those intensely vivid memories - you know, the kind where you feel exactly like you did way back when. As a little girl, I used to tuck a long curtain sheer into my pink plastic headband and turn it into a beautiful veil. Standing there in the boutique, I could smell that dusty old curtain. I could see my lavender toy chest and my fat black and white cat sprawled in the windowsill above it. I don't plan to wear a veil on my wedding day, but I'm glad I had that moment. I've been going into bridal shops and doing the wedding thing, and often I felt a little out of place. I'm twenty-eight years old, and admittedly, perhaps just a smidge cynical.
But at that moment, standing there in a silly veil, I was a hopeful little girl.

And I'm getting married in nine months.