Once again, not sleeping.

I ran in the River City Roots four mile run today. It was my third road race, and so far my shortest - and hardest. I signed up with my friend Kate, who is tall, lean, and seriously long legged. I should have known better. I pushed to keep pace with her for about three minutes, and then we hit this monster hill. I don't do hills when I run on my own - our side of town is completely flat. It absolutely killed me. I dropped back and tried to recuperate from setting out too fast, but I had a stitch in my side for nearly the whole race. But hey, I finished. And I got a nice running t-shirt out of the deal too.

I've had a lot of sleepless nights lately. I don't know if it's the school stress getting to me, or if perhaps it's just a genetic thing. I remember my mom always getting up in the night when she was about this age. Last night I slept, but tossed and turned with dreams about caring for postpartum women in the hospital (I went to bed after doing homework for my OB class...) Whatever this is, I hope it passes - I'm exhausted.

In the past five or six years, I've tried to better who I am as a person. I'm still working on it, but I try my best to be patient, and kind, and helpful. I want to be mindful of the thoughts and feelings of others, and try to see things from the other person's place before I jump to conclusions. I get frustrated with myself when I stray from this effort. But I suppose we all have our days. If I keep at it I'll get better.

My ten year high school reunion is in a couple of weeks. Strangely, I'm not going. Most of my close friends in school were not from my graduating class, but I still would have liked to see everyone. I always planned to go, but it falls during a difficult time in the semester for me to get away, and the plane tickets were a lot more money than I'd like to pay for a two day trip. Honestly, though, the main event is a barbecue (read: kegger) at the lake. Funny how some things never change. Somehow I get the sensation that I'm not the only class of '97 graduate who isn't going to make a big effort (=spend money to fly) to get to that. Oh, well. There's always our twentieth.

Bedtime post.

Hi there. I tried to go to bed, but my mind wasn't quite ready for sleeping. Perhaps a little writing will do the trick.

We're in the middle of the third week of school. It's busy. I've had two weeks of inpatient pediatric clinicals, and they've gone well so far. Best thing about peds rotation = one day a week. Worst thing about peds rotation = twelve hour shifts. I'm seriously not a five AM kind of gal. I have a coffee pot, and on rare occasions I actually use it. Tuesday mornings at 5:00 are definitely some of those occasions.

Our first Montana Student Nurses' Association meeting was this week. We had pretty good turnout, and I think we'll have fun this year. I'm always impressed by my fellow students - our Community Health Director suggested some events and things we could do to volunteer our time, and sent around a sign up sheet for anyone interested. Everyone signed up. Nursing students are insanely busy, yet they all still want to volunteer their time and energy. Amazing people.

Luis's guitar recital is this Friday at the University of Montana. If you're interested in coming, contact me for additional information. It'll be good, you should go.

I'm off work this weekend, and I'm thrilled. It's been a busy couple of weeks, and I am ready for a break. I have a few homework assignments due Sunday, but other than that I'm planning to relax. I want to get to the Farmers' Market Saturday morning - there's only a few left for the year! I'm also running in the River City Roots Festival 4 mile run on Sunday. My friend Kate was looking for someone to run the race with her, and it sounded like fun. Hopefully I'll be able to check out some of the festival too.

I have an appointment at a bridal shop to try on wedding gowns later this week. Luis's brother Emilio found what he was sure would be the perfect dress, but I think I'm going to keep looking. :) I went dress shopping once this summer, and mostly I felt awkward being laced into twenty pounds of satin, beads and poof. (I also forgot to wear my engagement ring when I went to the boutique. That might have had something to do with it.) Anyhow, I think now that we've got a date and a location, dress hunting will be more fun.
Makes me wish my mom wasn't so far away.

Okay, I think I'm sufficiently tired now. G'night...

Stupid internet stuff...

...that always makes me laugh.

OMGWTFBBQ!

Internet people!
(Funny references, mildly lame song...)

"There is such a thing as a tesseract."

Madeleine L'Engle died yesterday.

Her books were a huge part of my childhood. I spent countless hours reading and rereading A Wrinkle in Time, and the other books in the Time Quartet. She created a beautiful world, a fantastic alternate universe. I spent a lot of time in her world as a kid.

Griz Country

Yeesh.

Thank god it's a three day weekend starting tomorrow.

I didn't know it was possible to be this far behind after only four days of school. Holy hell.

The phone call.

dmb at sandstone, 2003
Originally uploaded by mandapanda191

Every summer, after the Dave Matthews Band concert in Kansas City, I get a late night phone call from my friends back home. Erica calls me from the parking lot after the show, and after everyone shouts a chorus of "hello's" she passes the phone around and I get to talk to each of them.

It's the very essence of bittersweet for me. I miss those guys a lot, and I love that they still include me in this small way. It's with an achy happiness that I listen to their animated, slightly tipsy yarn of the evening's events.

I'm glad I'm here, but it's moments like these I wish I were there.

Another year, and other updates.

Yesterday was the first day of classes this semester. I'm impressed by my professors, as they all seem organized and highly competent. The organizational factor makes a difference in the student experience for any class, but particularly so in nursing classes. We divide our time between classroom lectures, lab simulations, and in- and outpatient clinical settings, so if the teacher or course isn't very organized it becomes a scheduling nightmare.
I'm excited for my clinicals this semester. This fall we're in obstetrics and pediatrics, so there's all sorts of settings we'll get to work in - hospital for deliveries, pediatrics and NICU, pediatrician's offices, school nurse offices, hearing and eye screenings for children. We might get to do some health teaching classes with kids. It will be a nice change from med/surg.

Around the 20th of August a damp, cool weather front moved through, which cleared the smoke and helped to calm the fires a bit. Sadly, between the cooler weather and the prior weeks of gray smoky skies, we ended summer early this year. My tan lines faded even before classes began. As I'm writing this, the temperature on my desktop weather reads 44°.

This Saturday is the first Griz football game of the season. I wasn't able to go any last year (I was scheduled to work during every home game!), so I'm excited to get to a couple this season. I may be an MSU student, but I'm still a Griz fan. :)

Fire!

This morning when I went out to my car, it was covered with a dusting of ash and bits of blackened debris. The sun today is a dark orange sphere, feebly shining through the thick gray atmosphere. Fire season is in full swing once again...
We have two major fires burning within twenty or so minutes of Missoula, and apparently the entire state of Idaho is on fire. Below is a satellite photo of the Idaho and Western Montana fires, from earthobservatory.nasa.gov.

(Here is a link to the original photo.)

As you can see, the smoke from Idaho is blowing directly over our area. With the inversion factor that happens in our little valley, the smoke gets trapped in and just stays. Ick.

Everybody seems a bit cross these days, and who can blame them? It’s hard to keep cheery when there’s no sunshine. For me, it doesn’t help that I haven’t been able to go running - I worry about breathing the dirty air for very long.

Here's hoping for some rain.



If you're interested, here are some Montana fire-related links:
Montana air quality (as of 1:00 today, ours was considered 'unhealthy'.)
Inciweb fire tracker for Montana

Bigfoot Ironman, Harrison Mills, British Columbia.

Luis completed his first Ironman in 11:20:02.

His time for the half Ironman last summer was 6:09. (You do the math... that's incredible.)

He's a rock star.

He's also my hero.